In my last post, I started the conversation about trust. It was way too long so I had to make two! Haha. If you haven’t read the first post, read that first. This current post is focussed on what you can do to build trust.
- Don’t look to others to heal you, go to the CORE.
We are taught from a young age to put our trust outside of ourselves onto other people (just like we do when we are younger). So while relationships are a great opportunity for building trust, they can also be the most harmful too as they can actually reinforce negative beliefs or trust issues that we have learnt about ourselves and others earlier in life. If you feel that you are in a relationship that you have to be someone that you’re not, or that is actually harming you, where you don’t feel that you can trust them or yourself, you will know what I’m talking about. To really build trust, you need to uncover your beliefs about trusting others. Somewhere in your life you have learnt not to trust, where was that? Re-visit that earlier part of you and embrace them. I offer some clearing packages for this also.
- Start by trusting yourself first
In order to attract a trusting relationship with another, the most important thing is to trust yourself first. Many of us will try relationship after relationship to try to find that trust, but often if we look outside of ourselves and put our trust outside onto another, we learn to depend on others, rather than looking after ourselves and depending on ourselves, which really, is the only one that can actually change anything. If you trust yourself, you will make changes that you need to to look after yourself and continue building that trust. If you trust yourself, you can leave toxic relationships, trusting yourself that you (and those that you care for, kids or otherwise) will be okay, you can trust that you can find love again but trust that you will be okay if you don’t and also, if you trust yourself, you will find that others are drawn to you and can trust you too. If you trust yourself, you will take the risk and show up as you really are.
- Show up
Trusting yourself involves embracing your true self and acting in alignment with that, even though it may feel a little weird to do so and even though you may be scared of what people will think of you. Be brave. Take courage. And get out there.
- Learn to communicate
Trust impacts on communication. If you haven’t had good role modelling, you may benefit from doing a course on communication. I wrote a post about resolving conflict that you may find useful too.
- Wear blue
The colour blue is a calming and relaxing colour that promotes peace. It has many different meanings but it is a big one when it comes to trust and communication.
- Stop beating yourself up.
End the cycle of shame by increasing your awareness of your patterns and the ways that your mind beats you up after doing something that doesn’t completely line up with your own values, something that may trigger a bunch of questions or analysing or criticism. Mindfulness techniques work magic.
- Meridian Tapping
There are many that can help in this situation. Here is a video I created of a quick technique that I really like but feel free to do some research and find others.
- Re-think your ‘failures’
When their is a core belief around failure and trust, it will manifest itself in many different ways to reinforce that belief. If you aren’t having this, understand that this is showing up to show you your belief and the issues that need to be cleared.
Also, check out this blog by my good friend Tyson Failure Is Just Feedback.
- Try something new
This can be something that is really tricky for people to do when trust is at stake. As above, if you’ve tried something and failed, it can be hard to try again. If you have loved and had massive loss, it’s hard to love again. Start with something small that doesn’t matter too much to you if it doesn’t work out (anything creative is great!). If you can do it, it can start to change some of those patterns of thinking.
- Don’t quit
If there’s something that you’ve wanted to do that you have tried and you didn’t succeed, remember the “failure is feedback” and try again. Make changes and try again. Make changes and try again… You will eventually crack the code!
Thanks for reading! Feel free to share other ideas of building trust in yourself. This list is just the beginning!