Do you get “triggered” by something that your partner has said? Maybe it’s your boss, your child, your friend? Do you struggle with how to respond? Perhaps you’ve tried ignoring in hopes that it will go away or to avoid saying something to make it worse? Maybe you try to defend yourself or throw an arrow back to them, pointing out something they’ve done wrong or calling them a name? John Gottman calls these responses to conflict the “The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse.” When conflict shows up, it is just providing you with information about your energy as there is something that is attracting this and also an early trauma that is being triggered. The way you respond will be out of learned behaviour and usually from a place of hurt that has been reinforced over and over as your energy attracts the things that line up with our underlying beliefs. Take this as information and an opportunity to change and to attract more positive responses. After all, you can only change yourself and by changing yourself, you can ensure that the pattern doesn’t continue. I offer services for Energy Clearing that changes your energy and teaches you ways to deactivate this early trauma. It works at going to the root cause to help you to know yourself and to unblock this from your energy.
Once you have cleared this from your energy, you can choose to respond to conflict in a different way. John Gottman has some great antidotes that you can read about here or by watching this cute video 🙂